Thursday, July 31, 2008

six months and counting...

so today marks the twenty fifth week of pregnany...and so far so good...according to everything ive read online, im officially 6 months pregnant...which seems totally weird...but super exciting...yesterday was the first time i was asked by multiple people when i was due -- which means that i must be showing a lot more now...however, jon and i took pictures and it really looks a lot smaller than i feel...i have to actually let it hang out for it to look like there is something there...but at least we are documenting it now...we also purchased a new video camera for all of our baby girls (yes, for those of you who didnt know, we are having a little girl) "firsts" not to mention the baby showers and delivery and all that fun stuff..i just want to make sure she has everything -- cause i know that i appreciated my moms somewhat effort to write and talk about things both before and after i was born...she is also moving around so much more now -- well, maybe she is moving the same, but now i just feel it more -- and yes, jon can now feel it too -- which i think makes him feel more of a part of this whole experience...its probably one of the weirdest feelings ive ever experienced...and i thnk its only going to get more weird -- especially when i see arms and legs come flying out of my skin...


ive now started going to physical therpy -- cause although i havent gained a ton of weight, my body just isnt used to all this -- i figured i would have back problems at some point, just not this early...but it feels good to go in and have someone put heat on my back and work through the sore spots...

i work out on a daily basis, okay, not daily, but at least 5 days a week -- it helps me feel good about myself -- and i think that is really important...i havent given in to all of my cravings, and im proud for having the will power to say no a lot of the time...however, i did have quite the shock the other day when a guy walked into a meeting, looked at me and said "wow, i didnt recognize you, you have gained a lot of weight" -- get real, ive gained at most 6 lbs at this point...in fact, my doctor told me to make sure i eat more...even though thats what it feels like im always donig...its just a lot of fruits and veggies cause thats all i honestly want at the moment...

jon and i are still trying to find a place to live -- and its proved to be a lot more difficult than we ever thought...time is running out -- i mean we have a little more than a month to get the heck out of here...so keep your fingers crossed that we actually find some place to live -- or else i am going to be really really stressed out...

other than that -- sean and rachel are now out here on the west coast, living literally 5 walking minutes away -- and its been really nice hanging out with them and getting to know rachel -- especially since her and sean are getting married in like 5 months...(which sucks cause chances are, i wont be able to make it...i mean, thats like 6 weeks after my due date -- and with so many unexpected things that could happen, im not sure i will be abl to make it...i will just have to look at all the pictures and hear all about it from jon)

well, thats all thats going on right now...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

bored on a fake friday night...

so over the last week i have come to terms that i am really lacking in the friends department -- this was really shown to me yesterday when i sent a text to someone i used to find so dear and got the response "who is this" -- i mean, wow, what a slap in the face...i mean i know that we havent talked in like forever, but still...delete my phone number... wowza

whats wrong with me? am i like a total super bitch? i currently feel like i have no one except my dogs...i feel like nothing is going as planned...and that nothing is going to work out for me...ahh...i must stop the negative words coming from my mouth...but seriously -- i have felt like my chest is going to cave in for like the last week...i cant remember the last time i smiled, and truly meant it...pretty sad huh? i miss the days when i didnt have a care in the world -- the day where i was so proud of myself and everything i had accomplished -- what am i now? not moving into the house i want, living in a freaking apartment...with 3 dogs...amazing...

anyways...i wish i had something lighter to talk about...humm...i guess the one good thing that i have going on right now is my determination to work out and make it a priority in my life -- i do it at a minimum of 5 days a week, and for at least 1 hour each time...pretty amazing huh? yeah...i feel pretty accomplished for sticking with it -- normally i would have given up by now...but i guess i have that fear inside me -- that i will be one of those fat pregnant girls...lol...and i refuse to get fat...just wanna gain what i need to...

on another note, baby ella is a kicking machine -- though an outsider would likely call me a liar -- ive tried and tried to get jon to feel it, but he just cant....but i know what i feel and she is a mover...mostly at night or when im sitting at my desk at work...i cant wait to see her next...i have a doctor appointment next friday, so hopefully they will schedule my next ultrasound then...cause i know miss jessica is dying for some pics :)